The day before.
The day before my own family begins.
As I sit here and feel the reality of what is about to happen, I am humbled by the fact that the Lord would choose to bless me with a family of my own.
Tomorrow I say yes to the man of my dreams, the man that God created for a union with me, and a man whose life has been spent following after the One who brought us together.
As I look back over the years, one thing that I see is God’s sovereign hand. With each step of obedience, I was met with His unfailing love and comfort.
As I drew near to Him, He drew near to me. However, if I stepped away, he never left my side.
He spoke words of love over me even when He was just another check on my agenda list.
However, throughout all the seasons of searching and seeking, He sent me on a journey back to Him.
I remember a moment in my life when I felt His presence so strongly that it transformed me in a split second.
It was at a women’s retreat when I was asked to come up and sit at the front of the room in a rocking chair.
I rocked back and forth, back and forth…
Suddenly, the speaker of the day spoke of resting in the arms of Jesus and rocking in His lap.
I began to close my eyes and see myself in His lap, resting and rocking with my Savior.
A moment when I felt Him whispering to me:
“I have a plan, trust it”
“I love you, trust me”
“I see you, trust that”
All those sweet whispers in that moment were what transformed my heart from a girl who was insecure in her own skin to a young woman who knew who she was through Gods truth.
I was no longer broken, but seen as a blessed daughter of my King, my Father.
And all this was found by spending a few short moments in the rocking chair with my Jesus.
Although I grew up knowing who Jesus was and accepting who He was in me, I never understood the depth at which He knew me.
It was there, in that rocking chair, my journey with Jesus truly began.
I tell you this to let you know where my journey to “This day forward” truly began.
Resting and rocking in the arms of my Savior.
And today, I sit here in awe of where that moment has taken me.
I began to see myself in His light and His grace instead of the light of my insecurities.
Once I began seeing myself through His eyes, I started my journey toward the woman that would one day discover a man who would see me through the same loving eyes as my Savior.
I am honored and humbled to say, that those dreams of one day finding that man have come true.
I am getting married to the man who sees my heart and my inward beauty the way that Christ sees me.
What a pure and sacred time…
As I await my first few steps as a wife, I see myself once again in that rocking chair, resting in the lap of Jesus.
I pray that I never forget the reality that God wants me to spend time in that rocking chair not just when I have time, but everyday.
He wants to hear my dreams, He wants to listen to my fears and He wants to comfort my longings.
May I never place my husband above those moments in the rocking chair.
Not only would that take away from our vows to one another but it would create a marriage less than what we could have.
Although I am just learning how to be a wife worthy of the calling God has for me, I pray that I would draw closer to Him before I draw closer to my husband.
That I can be a wife whose heart is steadfast and true toward the One meant to be sought after.
May I never place my husband, as wonderful as He is, above my First Love.
Psalm 127:1 “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless that LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”
Psalm 128:1,3a “Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to Him…Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house…”
Lord, I pray that You will create in me a pure heart as I begin my journey with the man you have provided for me. May I always remember those moments in the rocking chair with You and may they continue to draw me to You daily as I rest in You. Help me to always look to You for satisfaction and not to my husband. You Are, You Were and You Always Will Be my First Love.